Discernment Counseling
For couples on the brink of divorce
Relationship Therapy in Reno, NV | California & Nevada Telehealth
Considering divorce but not completely sure?
If you or your spouse are considering divorce, but not completely sure, it can feel like there aren’t a lot of options. Discernment Counseling is designed for couples where one partner is 'leaning out,’ while the other is "‘leaning in’ and wants things to work.
This is different from couples therapy, as it’s highly structured and short-term. It is not meant to fix or resolve your marital issues, but to determine whether they are solvable.
Over one to five sessions, we explore each person’s role in the patterns that developed and what responsibility you’re willing to take for change. There are no sides, no pressure, and respect for whatever choice you make.
Either sound familiar?
The “Leaning In” Partner
You want to repair things, but feel powerlessYour spouse has put divorce on the table or has “checked out.” You’re probably oscillating between panic, anger, and deep sadness, trying everything you can (pleading, promising, or doing Reddit deep-dives) to get them to change their mind.
You’re fighting for the life of your family, but your partner has one foot out the door. It’s an incredibly lonely and exhausting place to be.
How I help: I honor how much you want to save your marriage. In this work, I’ll help you move out of "panic mode" and show up as your best self in this crisis. We aren’t here to beg your partner to stay; we are here to see if a path to repair is possible. I invite you to ask your spouse to join you for Discernment Counseling - not to "fix" the relationship, but to determine if it is fixable.
The “Leaning Out” Partner
You’re tired of the fighting (and the guilt)Maybe you’re the one who found this page, or maybe your spouse sent it to you. Either way, you’ve been unhappy for a long, long time. You feel done, and yet… a part of you feels guilty or ambivalent about the massive impact of a divorce.
You’re probably wary of couples therapy because you don't want to be judged, pressured, or talked into staying in a relationship that feels broken. You may even feel like "the bad guy" for wanting to leave.
How I help: This process is different. Discernment Counseling respects your desire to leave. This isn't a "save the marriage" trap. It’s a safe place to slow down and decide if you truly want to commit to one last effort of repair, or if a respectful, collaborative separation is the healthiest path forward for everyone.
FAQs
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I’ll do a separate 20 minute intake call with each partner. If we decide you’re good candidates, we’ll move forward with scheduling our first full length appointment.
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$400 for 2 hour sessions (up to 5 sessions max). Rates are prorated if longer appointments are needed.
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• When one spouse has already made a final decision to divorce
• When both spouses want to repair the relationship
• When one spouse is coercing the other to participate
• When there is danger of domestic violence
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This is about clarity and confidence about the future of your relationship. We aren’t here to solve problems, but we’re here to see if they are “solve-able.”
My role is to help you understand each of your contributions to the problems and the possible solutions.
This will be useful in future relationships even if this one ends.
Training & Credentials
I am training with The Doherty Relationship Institute (the founding authority and original developer of Discernment Counseling). Sessions follow the established Discernment Counseling structure and ethical guidelines.